Transparent

So I had to write this post first thing this morning because I have been having terrible dreams lately and last night was so vivid. Working on this farm and moving here was a huge risk I made. I make very little money and I'm in a constant state of worry that I'm going to have everything paid. Last night I had a dream that I over drafted on my checking account and there was absolutely nothing I could do and the charges kept piling up and up and up. Sometimes this makes me sick to my stomach wondering if I'm going to be able to stay the whole time here. I wanted to be transparent here because some people don't know, and I obviously don't have tons of experience, what it's like to be training for the missions field or be on it and wonder where your support is going to come from. I'm getting ready to embark on fund-raising for Uganda but I'm worried I won't even make it here to be able to fund raise for that to be able to go. I want to trust the Lord to provide but there's always a disconnect between wanting and doing. I think Paul had something to say about this disconnect between wanting and doing. Just pray that I can trust God who owns cattle on a thousand hills. This is really hard for me to write because if you know me, I don't talk about money... ever. So to post this on here is very out of character, but I want you all to share in everything I go through down here, even if it's really tough pride breaking things like this.

Just so this post isn't totally upsetting... This is the underside of the stairs by the door going into the dorm. That's Barry the cat's tail hanging down through the stairs. I got a good laugh at it and thought you would too.